Ghetto Hera fabo
by AnonymousTroll
Summary: Like the title says, join Hera on her adventures on Mt. Olympus, while she kicks ass and takes names. With a side of sass and sexual aggression! yay!


_**Welcome to the beginning of many stories of the Ghetto Hera Fabo chronicles. Join Ghetto Hera in her adventures on Olympus and how she lives her sassy ass life as the Queen of all Gods. Please keep in mind that this tale is not meant for the weak hearted, or any prudes, grammar Nazis (for I must write how they say it, and it will not be done correctly), Zeus, easily anally frustrated bitches, and so on. . . . Enjoy**_

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_**Who da fuk you think I am,** **bitchz?!**_

Okay, so he' dis: I waz mindin' my own business when this hoe came and waz all like, "Ummm, excuse me, but you need to get yo' flat ass off of my seat, ight, or I gots to smack a bitch from here to L.A." Now keep in mind, if you will, DIS WAS MY SPOT! This might make more sense for you dumb sluts if I started from da begginin'.  
. . .

I woke up this mornin' like I usually do, I get my clean on, do my hair like it ain't nobody's business, put some sexy makeup on, like I be goin' out clubbin' later (well iz true, I am. me and Dayum! Aphrodite hitten' clubs and gettin' crunk! WOOP WOOP!), and I walk outside and wait for my gurl DD. We usually meet up in the park, where da thugs hang around, you feel me? So the hours ticking by and i'm getting bored an' bitchy ( . . . more than usual . . . . or just regular for me ;) and my feet are aching; so I sit down on da bench or da drug deala' chills often, and pull out a joint and light dat muthafucka up (to calm my nerves of course). So I finish my last drag and decide to call up Dite.  
She picked up all right and this is what I hear: da bitch was getting laid! like what the fuck? "I sorry we made plans to go party tonight, but yo' big boy toy, Ares is much mo' important than me, I guess. Well I ain't goin' by myself like some desperate pussy, so you best pick up da pace and hurry up, Don't make me walk in on ya'll and smack ya skank bitch face!"

So she apologizes between moans and thrusts and all dat nasty business.I tell her it's cool and whatever, but I was serious about interrupting her pussy popping. I ain't joking around with that kinda shit. She calls me back later, telling me how great he was, I was hardly paying attention since it's the same story every time, yadda yadda yadda biggest cock I've ever seen, knows how to give it to a gurl the right way . . . then she tells me that she's almost ready, I told her where to meet me, we laugh, and I hung up. Why she always getttin' laid? And it's neveh with her husband, though I don't blame her; there is no way I'd tap that without the lights off either. _I wonder if she fucks in Hephaestus's bed with Ares, when he isn't home. . . Like he just walks in, and Ares keeps going just to piss him off? That'd be a funny story to chat over. She be all like, so i'm about to finish, kay? and the door cracks and the light blinds me fo' a second, and he's just standing there, though i'm sure he was saying something or whatever, but I couldn't here him over my sweet sounding moans. And Ares, he doesn't even stop, he be all like, I ain't stop till I finish, so you best take a seat and enjoy the show while it lasts. . . . _I laugh to myself on how hilarious his surprised face would look! *sigh*

So back to the beginning, I closed my eyes for just a sec, and this shadow blocks the warm sunshine from my was smiling face. I look up to find this unfashionable lil' skank standing over me, givin' a look like she just stepped in something nasty . . . like her personality. And she says, "Ummm, excuse me, but you need to get yo' flat ass off of my seat, ight, or I gots to smack a bitch from here to L.A."

I got up from where I waz chilin', grabbed her by her greasy weave, brought her oily, pale face to eye level with me and said," Who da fuk you think I am, bitchz?! Some ragdoll you can push around? Speaking of rags, is that what you made you weave out of? If you' tryin' to make a fashion statement ur failing, because the only message I'm getting from you is that you don't know what a shower is; I could smell you from a mile away! It's like you roll around in the dumpster looking for some decent perfume, and when you find it it's filled with bullshit, just like you, but you don't give a fuck and spray it on you anyway, dumb hoe. Now get the fuck out my face before I rip you grease ball of hair out of yo' skull and choke you with it. Do you hear me, bitch? I don't fuck around, you think I be joking, just give me a second and I'll change yo' mind. lil bitch, I'll take off all yo' gaudy jewelry and shove it down your throat, might actually do an improvement, free of charge, unlike every time you get laid. No wonder you can't pay the water bill to shower, you too busy spending it on male prostitutes who already have AIDs so it's not like ur rachet pussy can get his dick anymore sick than it already is; though he's not lucky to fuk something to easy and disgusting as you, hoe! So next time you wanna fuk with a bitch, tryin' to mess around with her, tryna be boss, think again about trying that shit with me. Because I ain't scared of you, bitch. SO GET THE FUK OUTTA MY FACE, BEFORE I BREAK YOU BITCH!"

So the little pussy runs away, serves Leto right for messing with a top bitch.

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**This wraps up the first chapter of the Ghetto Hera Fabo Chronicles. I was inspired by Keisha Fabo (well, Karkat Fabo, you Homestuck fans know what I'm talking about) and decided a fabo Hera would be funny. Ghetto, I added, was because it just felt right.  
I do not own PJO or any of the characters. Sorry about the bad grammar, it was a bit hard for me to write, but I did it just for you. BYE BYE BABIES!**

~AnonymousTroll trolling you since 1999


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